Best Of 2006

Best of '06 FOOD – part 2




Best New Restaurant
Bin 555

555 Bitters (at Artisans Alley), 496-0555

Chef and restaurateur Jason Dady opened Bin 555, his second venture, with his brother, Jake, in Artisans Alley on Bitters. Pictured here, a dish of grilled Texas Bob White Quail with pancetta, baby arugula, and sherry vinaigrette.
The past year in food has been fecund in San Antonio. Downtown’s dining development continues with Las Ramblas in the Hotel Contessa and Massimo Pallottelli’s Sage at the Fairmount. But much of the action is centrifugal as well, with the former boonies of 1604 now a boomtown. Azuca has planted Pasion! in the Vineyard at Blanco, and Paesano’s has put down roots at NW Military, just to name two. All of which makes picking a “Best New” problematic at best.

But we have risen to the challenge by bestowing the laurels on Bin 555, Jason Dady’s sophomore effort behind Artisan’s Alley on Bitters. For first-timers, the process of finding the place, hidden away behind Alley’s cluster of shops, may actually stimulate the appetite (or arouse one’s ire). If not, the tapas-style menu of small plates — “freddo,” “cotto,” and “wood oven” — should get the glands going. Dady is particularly proud of his Italian wood oven, and the pizzas that emerge from it do him proud in return. The grilled asparagus topped with a fried, organic egg, the seared diver sea scallop with an orange-fennel nage, and the lamb merguez should also be tried. True, the pulled-pork-shoulder “pupusa” failed to please, but the wood-oven-fired mussels were spectacular. “Grande Piastra,” or big plate(s), are hard-pressed to deliver bigger flavor than their smaller siblings. That said, Dady’s Bin 555 fare may be simpler than what is offered at The Lodge, his first food foray, but it’s here that his signature flavors come through most tellingly in dishes such as the grilled Tuscan-style ribeye.

We herewith put in a plea for more wines by the glass, but otherwise find the selection up to the task of tapas pairing. The 55 wines for $55 list is a cute touch, too, but no matter how attractive the deals, $55 is still substantial, and I found equally good buys for less. Note that small plates and single glasses of wine can add up quickly, however, turning what seems like a modest meal into a major expenditure. You are warned but not discouraged.

Ron Bechtol




Best cake
W.D. Deli

3123 Broadway Street, 828-2322

The subtle orange flavor and spongy texture of W.D. Deli’s orange creamsicle cake, above, is lovely, but its cream-cheese frosting could make a stale lump of bread taste like Marie Antoinette’s dessert.
“Let them eat cake.” Poor Marie. She probably just had a horrible sweet tooth and wondered why someone would choose to eat bread over cake anyway. I’ll admit that I’m a sucker for good cake. Doesn’t matter what kind, as long as it’s moist and homemade. (OK so I guess it matters a little bit.) The luscious confection has the capacity to wear down my resolve faster than I can say, “To hell with Weight Watchers.”

One of my all-time favorite cakes is one I never would have anticipated falling in love with. Isn’t that the way with love? I find myself daydreaming about it, too, which if you think about it, is kind of sweet. The cake for which I long is none other than the Orange Creamsicle Cake at W.D. Deli, 3123 Broadway.

I never was a fan of the Popsicle Company’s original Creamsicle. It just seemed odd to pair the icy hardness of a Popsicle with the soft ice cream center. Besides, it was fruity and I prefer chocolate.

But, one bite of Creamsicle Cake had this die-hard chocaholic crying, “More!” Imagine this: a light, fluffy, subtly flavored orange cake that is sponge-like in texture and surrounded in generously applied white frosting. Not that icky frosting we all hated as kids, but that smooth, cream-cheesy frosting that can have even the most prudish of us seductively licking our forks in an attempt to savor every morsel.

For a mere couple of bucks, you can enjoy the ultimate lunchtime finale: a huge slab of this heaven-sent cake. And if the idea of devouring just one slice seems cruel and unusual punishment, then please sit down for this: If you plan ahead, you can order an entire cake to take home.

Beverly Ingle




READER'S PICK

Best restaurant over 20 years old
Earl Abel’s

Just when we thought the 72-year-old restaurant would be razed, the wreckin’ ball came to a halt mid-swing and Earl Abel’s was saved to live another day over on Old Austin Highway. Was it the coconut cake, the fried chicken, or the curvy arrow on its sign that got out the vote? We think it was all that, and the crazy nostalgia brought about by SA’s collective near-death experience.





Best wine guys

Phillipe Placé of Las Canarias
112 College St., 518-1063

Mike Domenicali, jr. of Saglimbeni Fine Wines
638 West Rhapsody, 349-5149

Best Wine Guy Phillipe Placé, pictured here in Las Canarias’ bar, says his mother started him on an early path, allowing him a pinky dipped in Champagne as a babe.
Like many a successful chef who has worked his way up through the ranks, Michael Domenicali Jr. earned his wine and spirits stripes by serving in the trenches. But, while he says, “there are some really bad jobs out there,” even his worst have had their silver linings.

Domenicali’s first job in the business was at the late and lamented Fine Spirits on Austin Highway, the independent outlet that also served as a forum for guru Don White. Domenicali admits he had only seriously started drinking wine a couple years earlier, in his mid-20s, and that his real inspiration for choosing booze as a career was Bond. James Bond.

After Fine Spirits closed, Domenicali moved to SeaZar’s on North New Braunfels and eventually took over the store — preparation for his current position at Saglimbeni Fine Wines, where he is liquor manager, buyer, wine consultant, newsletter author, and webmaster. “People don’t see him coming,” says owner Joe Saglimbeni, “but he really knows his stuff.”

At Saglimbeni, one of the city’s few remaining independent wine and spirits stores, Domenicali keeps his wine chops in shape by reading trade publications (he eschews Wine Spectator for Decanter and Robert Parker’s Wine Advocate). Meeting and tasting with winery owners gives him that “been-there” feeling, and frequent brown-bag tastings with “a bunch of guys in the industry” keep them all honest. Bagging the wine prevents pre-conceived prejudices, says Domenicali, and though the results can often be humbling, “it’s a great learning experience.”

When asked for recommendations at the store, he will usually start with a price limit, but he doesn’t shy from suggesting less-expensive wines if he feels they fit the profile established by a few more questions such as country preferences and, simply, “What do you like to drink?”

“Wine is as much of a mood as a food thing, so drink what you feel,” Domenicali says. “There are no rights and wrongs.”

Best Wine Guy Mike Domenicali Jr., standing amongst the vast selection of wines at Joe Saglimbeni Fine Wines and Spirits, says choosing a wine is as much about a mood as it is pairing with foods, “So drink what you feel.”
His preferences and cellar currently center on cult producers, such as Pax from California, but he is also big on sagrantino-based wines from Umbria, and pronounces Arnaldo Caprai his favorite producer. “These wines will be huge in the U.S. in ten years,” he claims. You heard it here first.

If “shaken, not stirred” was Domenicali’s inspiration, a pinkie dipped into Champagne and offered to an infant Philippe Placé might well have started him down the primrose path. “Wine is in my blood, literally,” says French-born Placé. In addition to surreptitious sips of Champagne, he recalls that a muscadet de Sèvre-et-Maine, drunk on fishing trips with his dad, was “my first real wine. Now it’s pretty much a passion.”


BEST OF 2006

INTRODUCTION

PEOPLE & POLITICS

MEDIA

ARTS Part 1

ARTS Part 2

FOOD Part 1

FOOD Part 2

MUSIC Part 1

MUSIC Part 2

PLACES Part 1

PLACES Part 2

SACURRENT.COM

Placé’s interest in wine emerged in earnest at age 15, when he began attending a culinary high school in France. A stint at London’s prestigious Claridge Hotel, where he served the Queen Mum and Lady Di, followed, along with hotel positions in Paris. But in 1990, he took advantage of a French connection to secure a job at a five-star hotel in the Berkshires, Massachusetts. It was there that Placé met his Texas-born, soon-to-be wife, and shortly thereafter, he found himself at the wheel of a very large moving truck on the way to the Lone Star State.

The job as restaurant director of La Mansion del Rio was a happy accident — he had his sights set on Austin — but his continuing professional development has not been left to fate. “Coming here was a re-birth,” he says. “I had to rethink all my preferences for Bordeauxs and Burgundies, and then, learning so much about every Grand Cru that you forget about pleasure.” As a result, he is now especially fond of Oregon pinots and big malbecs from Argentina. But for simple pleasure, he usually reverts to the Loire Valley wines of his youth. “You can’t fall in love with a wine without having the story,” says Placé. “A Sancerre tastes different to me having been there.”

In his inimitable accent, Placé does try to convey some of that story to the generally well-traveled hotel and Las Canarias guests, who he says are “a more open book here than in France, and more ready to accept suggestions,” from a wine list with nearly 400 entries. For armchair travelers, Placé suggests joining, or forming, a wine club to facilitate frequent tastings. “I frankly enjoy the somewhat light-headed feeling of tasting wine in a familiar setting,” he admits, because “people tend to open up to their impressions.” One gets the impression that M. Placé has opened up to Texas as well.

Ron Bechtol




READER'S PICK

Best shushi
Sushi Zushi

Sushi Zushi took Best Sushi in a landslide victory, but the odd thing was that the bulk of its fans transposed the name, entering Zushi Sushi on their forms. No matter: The restaurant’s sushi — try the stunning rainbow rolls and Green Mussel Dynamite — would go down just as sweetly under any name.





Best pizza
Volare Gourmet Pizza & Pasta
5054 Broadway, 828-3354

There is nothing more comforting and indulgent than a piping-hot slice of the cheesy bubbly. For many Americans, the convenience of weeknight delivery makes crowd-pleasing pizza a dinnertime staple. But there are some pizzas far too delicious to share, some cravings too strong to suffer a long wait for the delivery guy. For me, that pizza is Volare’s.

Keep your eyes open for this tiny, quaint joint on Broadway. Adjacent to the Broadway 50/50, Volare’s isn’t much more than a simple pizza-making box. With only a few cramped tables indoors — and the ovens spewing heat — your best bet is to spend the evening al fresco at a picnic table on the patio. Pick up a bottle of wine to enjoy during the bake time. The friendly staff will cork it without charge and provide glasses.

While watching your made-to-order crust spin through the air, choose from the long list of gourmet ingredients, including grilled eggplant, gorgonzola cheese, genoa salami, pesto sauce, and smoked oysters. A long list of fresh veggies, including spinach, zucchini, and broccoli, makes Volare the most vegetarian and vegan-friendly pizzeria in town.

As crusts go, I’m always torn between the thin, crunchy New York-style crust at Florio’s and the thicker, whole-wheat or classic crust at Volare. However, a recent visit to Florio’s yielded a soggy pie crowned with canned mushrooms. What is this, Mr. Gatti’s?

You’ll find quality and consistency at Volare, but you’ll have to pay for it: A 14-inch pizza big enough for two or three will run about $15-17 with three toppings. A small price to pay for pizza that flies right off the pan into watering mouths.

Melanie Sharpe




READER'S PICK

Best locally owned coffee shop
Sip

With a view of the bustling Houston and St. Mary’s intersection from its street-facing counter, Andrew Weissman’s Sip feels like a real downtown café. Sit down with a panini, or perhaps an espresso and a little pastry, and watch the workaday folk, theater-goers, and tourists flow by — or take advantage of the newspaper stand to lose yourself in the New York Times for a few hours.





Best Steak
Ruth’s Chris

7720 Jones-Maltsberger, 821-5051; 1170 East Commerce, 227-8847

I’m relatively sure San Antonio is the geographic, if not spiritual center of meat-lovers’ country. Fajitas sizzle on nearly every corner menu. Burgers grill in an ever-increasing number of joints. Carne guisada, a beef stew, is a regular breakfast-taco filling. Cheap cuts of meat are everywhere.

But a really good steak can be hard to find. Sure, you can buy a prime cut at the grocery store (at about $15 a pound or more) and cook it up yourself, but you know how easy it is to ruin that plan. Just one minute of inattention, one misstep at the grill, and prime becomes pleather.

I’ve learned to leave steak to the professionals, and when I want the best, I go to Ruth’s Chris at the Concord. The aged corn-fed beef here is perfectly seasoned and broiled at just the right temperature to sear in the juices. When it arrives at the table, all alone on its sizzling hot plate, no other meat exists in the universe. I am one with my steak.

When I’ve snapped out of my Homer Simpson-like trance, I realize I’ve got fantastic side dishes flanking my entrée. Sometimes I order sautéed mushrooms to top my steak — but I always order the delightfully smooth creamed spinach. Made with fresh, tender leaves and a balanced cream sauce, this dish bears no resemblance to the school-cafeteria glop you once endured. The same goes for asparagus. Here the firm stalks glisten with freshness and are accompanied by a superfluously decadent Hollandaise.

Nine different potato choices round out this ideal steak dinner. Lyonnaise, mashed, au gratin, shoestring fries, sweet-potato casserole — name your style and it’s probably here. But in the end, all that matters is the steak. The sizzling, perfectly cooked, juicy, mouth-watering steak.

Julia Rosenfeld




READER'S PICK

Best import beer list
The Flying Saucer

There’s no beer in this photo, but don’t let that fool you: The place is drowning in foreign beers. A friendly barkeep informed us that Flying Saucer, 1125 Huebner, open since 2001, carries around 40 foreign beers on tap, and another 90 in bottles. And for those who drink domestic, the bar carries roughly the same number brewed stateside. Belly up to the bar: There’re beers from Mexico, Holland, Czech Republic, Ireland, England, Scotland, Belgium, Canada, and Germany.





Best Brunch
Las Canarias at La Mansion del Rio Hotel

112 College St., 518-1063

If I have to leave the house before noon on a Sunday, it better be for a darned good reason. One of the most compelling reasons is brunch. Not just a late breakfast or an early lunch. If I’m going out, I want a brunch that is truly part breakfast and part lunch. That usually means a buffet is the order of the day.

I’ve gone to upscale mansions in the deep South and uptown hotels deep in Manhattan. But very few out of town, and nothing in town, beats the opulent brunch at Las Canarias, the River Walk restaurant at La Mansion Hotel. “Each week, we do two carving stations, three meats in chafing dishes and between two and five fish dishes,” says Executive Chef Scott Cohen. That’s the lunch side. “Plus we go through 10 cases of eggs — that’s 30 dozen eggs per case, and 12 sides of our own house-smoked salmon.” That would be the breakfast side.

I start with at least one plate of mixed sushi, peeled shrimp, and smoked salmon. My favorite thing about the buffet, in fact, is that they never seem to run out of sushi: The nigiri tuna, salmon, yellowtail, and California Rolls are always fresh and generously replenished.

Keeping with the raw theme, I often move to on carpaccio; here it’s thinly sliced beef heaven and served with the traditional accompaniments of high-quality olive oil, shaved parmesan cheese, and fresh radicchio.

The gastronomic adventure continues with the obligatory Eggs Benedict, scrambled eggs, sausage, bacon, made-to-order omelets and waffles, simply prepared vegetables, and a decadent center spread of desserts. “We go through 24 homemade cakes and 20 dozen mini desserts, petits four and mousse desserts,” says Cohen.

And the Champagne flows freely — ironically making it hard to return home on a Sunday, too.

Julia Rosenfeld




CRITIC'S PICKS

Perhaps 2006 will be the year some brave restaurateur opens a truly vegetarian or vegan restaurant in San Antonio, but until then there are several establishments in town that offer a variety of meatless options. Pictured here, Cool Café’s Santorini Crêpe, front, in which sumac adds a lively note to a filling of spinach, pine nuts, and feta.
Best PlaceS to Take a Budding Vegetarian
1. Cool Café
2. Quicksands Café and Bakery
3. Asia Market & Kitchen
4. Liberty Bar

Best placeS to score free samples
1. Broadway Daily Bread
2. Central Market
3. Don & Ben’s Liquor Barn
4. Costco

Best places to meet the paleta man
1. Anywhere off Fredericksburg road
2. Baja King Willam
3. Alta Vista

Best late-night eats
1. The new Chacho’s (Perrin Beitel)
2. La Salsa’s
3. The Pig Stand (South Presa)



Best of '06 PLACES – part 1




It grows on you

For transplants and natives alike, the city is full of slowly unfolding surprises



READER'S PICKS

Best Place to See the Fiesta Parade Without Tickets:
1. Television
2. Market Square
3. Broadway Street

Best Gym
1. Gold’s Gym
2. Spectrum Health Club
3. Bally’s Total Fitness

Best Video/DVD Store
1. Blockbuster
2. Hollywood
3. Best Buy

Best Yoga Studio
1. Bikram Yoga
2. Yoga In Motion
3. Gold’s Gym/Hot Body Yoga (tie)

Best Kid-Friendly Park
1. Brackenridge Park
2. Kiddie Park
3. Sea World

Best Hotel
1. La Mansión del Rio
2. Marriott Riverwalk
3. Hotel Valencia

Best Hair Salon
1. Great Clips
2. Sergio’s Hair Salon and Spa
3. Shag the Salon

Best Sex Store
1. Adult Video Megaplex
2. Apollo/Shades of Love (tie)

Best Gay Bar/Club
1. Bonham Exchange
2. The Saint
3. Heat

Best Lesbian Bar/Club
1. Electric Company
2. Petticoat Junction
3. Bermuda Triangle

Best Sports Bar
1. Fatso’s Sports Garden
2. Champps Americana
3. Stacy’s Sports Bar

Best Tattoo Shop
1. Dandyland
2. Platinum Piercing
3. Mr. Lucky’s Tattoos

Best Street to Hit a Pothole
1. San Pedro
2. Broadway
3. Culebra

Best Pickup Spot
1. ReBar
2. Stonewerks
3. H-E-B

Best Car Dealership (New or Used)
1. Car Max Auto Superstore
2. Ancira
3. Saturn

Best Mechanic
1. Steve Gehrlein at Cambridge Auto Center
2. Bandera Automotive

Most Missed Place of the Last 20 Years
1. Taco Land
2. Japanese Tea Gardens/Sunken Gardens
3. Playland Park





My first impression of San Antonio, years ago, was not a great one. I was in the middle of 7th grade in Ft. Myers, Florida, and I had just told schoolmates that my family and I would be relocating to the Alamo City. Following the requisite (and now that I’ve traveled as a Texan, lamentably familiar) chorus of uniquely Tex-ist jibes and admonitions — “You’re gonna ride a horse to school,” “You’re gonna bed your sister and relentlessly persecute gay people” — class was business as usual until best-friend Brady, swallowing a cackle, handed me a small, folded parcel: a portentous bit of mildly crinkled notebook paper. Opened, it revealed a crudely etched outline of the Lone Star State — a makeshift map, complete with compass and legend. Somewhere near the center, just north of the penciled panhandle, was a tiny box-and-triangle number labeled “Brian’s House,” to be my representative on this rough-and-ready Mead landscape.


Surrounding it were three distinct and menacing swarms of frenzied graphite marks, each enormous, all seemingly advancing upon my stand-in. The first group was identified via legend as “Gangs.” The second, “Killer bees.” (Remember the big Africanized-killer-bee scare back in the early ’90s? I do. I was in the 7th grade, being informed that it was one of the frontrunners in the candidacy to be the swift, Texas-size death of me, presumably running on the popular “sting a dude’s face until he asphyxiates” platform.) The third scourge, honestly, escapes me. Coyotes, maybe. Or scorpions. Something Texas-y.


At any rate, I was a bit unsure about the move. I knew next to nothing about the city. The only real point of interest, as I was (and am) a rather rabid basketball fan, was that it housed the NBA’s Spurs. But they were a bit dull and hadn’t ever won a championship — how great could that be?


Fast forward a good number of years, and my feelings about this city have certainly changed, mostly for the better. San Antonio, any way you slice it, is a family town. Warm, simple, and rich in tradition and culture on its better days, it does have the capacity to be somewhat dull on others. There are places and things to love: everything about the Blue Star Arts Complex; the giggly kid stuff at the Witte; Spurs games and the atmosphere that grips this place come playoffs (they did all right for themselves, turns out); spring rolls at Viet Nam; dirt-cheap, darn-good egg foo young at the Pearl Inn down the street; the newly sprung-up Freebirds and Ruta Maya; and lotsa laughs at the Rivercenter Comedy Club.


There are things to wish for: more independently owned, quirky selections like the Bijou; a nightlife that doesn’t prominently involve the River Walk and dodging hordes of tourists. I have a warm spot in my heart for San Antonio, and it’s not just because it hasn’t yet shot, stung, or whatever-ed me to death as promised so long ago. Sure, it’s spread-out. Sure, familiarity breeds contempt, or at least occasional boredom. But there are certain pockets and alcoves in this town that, once found, can remind you how much you love it here. Herewith, a few of those.

- Brian Villalobos




Best Reasonably Priced, Mystifyingly All-Purpose, Faceless Manufacturing Maven
Hill Country Fare (H-E-B)

I’ve neither seen nor been to the hub/principal factory/clandestine command center of H-E-B über-producer and convenience colossus Hill Country Fare. I’m not even sure there is one. Here’s what I imagine, though: a massive, isolated, roughly village-sized compound west of the city, spilling disparate and sundry structures for miles upon miles, with perhaps the odd spire or smokestack twisting heavenward — a sprawling, Seussian study in concrete, conveyor belts, and glittering aluminum, complete with bustling, Keebler-esque cadres of workers versed in good cheer and diligence. Sort of like Wonka’s set-up, maybe, but far more diversified, and with the occasional armadillo or tumbleweed.


BEST OF 2006

INTRODUCTION

PEOPLE & POLITICS

MEDIA

ARTS Part 1

ARTS Part 2

FOOD Part 1

FOOD Part 2

MUSIC Part 1

MUSIC Part 2

PLACES Part 1

PLACES Part 2

SACURRENT.COM

How else, really, to explain the staggering, well nigh-encyclopedic output proffered by HCF? From diapers to detergent, from glass cleaner to gummy worms, if there’s a product to which the name and ubiquitous blue wagon haven’t been affixed (spoiler: there are a few), you’ll exert a bit of effort in summoning it. Envelopes? Check. Beef jerky? Ditto. Toothbrushes? 13 varieties. And food well, they make a lot of food.

Of particular note are the scads of markedly cheaper clones of brand-name vittles, often quite comparable in taste (not to mention packaging) to the originals. For an inexpensive source of (admittedly mild) entertainment, head down to the cereal and snack aisles at your local H-E-B to peruse the clunky translations from progenitor to knock-off; they’re ticklingly akin to unwieldy foreign takes on American movie titles. `Corn` Pops, f’r’instance, become “Golden Corn Nuggets”; Triscuits are “Woven Wheats.”

At 40 fewer cents per box, though, I’ll buy Crap Flakes, if they taste the same as Wheaties. For value-priced, variegated vendibles, few top the wagon, and the list is ever expanding. Would you buy HCF beer? Motor oil? Condoms? Short of a hysterical Charlton Heston tearing down the River Walk with crying that Hill Country Fare is, indeed, made of people PEOPLE , there’s no end in sight. And I, for one, am not complaining. Yet.

Brian Villalobos




Best place to cure a hangover
Paloma Blanca

112 College St., 518-1063

I’m not kidding when I say that Paloma Blanca saved my life one Sunday afternoon. A wine hangover had blurred straight into a caffeine-deprivation headache. My skull felt, I thought, Anna Karenina-like. A guillotine would have been welcome. Somehow, through the train derailment in my head, I heard a muffled suggestion: the patio at Paloma Blanca.

There among the flowering vines and burbling fountains, I was revived by their Bloody Mary — a concoction as salty as any primordial sea. Lo, I slid into it barely able to amble, and emerged again a walking, talking, Darwinian masterpiece. The bartender does in fact get a little too enthusiastic with the celery salt at times, a fault you can address by switching to the Michelada Mexicana. The combination of icy glass, salt, and Tabasco will perk you up like a blood transfusion.

Fat, of course, is the appropriate complement to a hair of the dog, and Paloma Blanca’s Botanas Chicas appetizer plate contains a medically miraculous combination of protein, cheese, and fried things. The quesadillas and chicken flautas are especially fortifying, but watch those deep-fried jalapeños or you’ll need Rx of a different sort altogether.

Elaine Wolff



READER'S PICK

Best gay bar Bar/club
Bonham Exchange

On a Saturday night, the line into the Bonham Exchange, this year’s Best Gay Bar/Club, will wend nearly to the Alamo. Don’t let the wait deter you: This is where the city’s best dancers are hanging out, the paid ones in their boxer briefs, the rest letting Madonna and J.Lo whip them into a frothy frenzy on the dance floor.





Best place for infants to swim
San Antonio Swim Academy

Opinions differ on the best time for children to start swimming, but if you’re eager to acclimate your baby to the water, you can’t go wrong with the San Antonio Swim Academy. In small classes with plenty of individual instruction, they manage to make the frequently intimidating swimming experience a series of lighthearted games: “B is for Bubbles” is a song parents use to demonstrate the concept of breathing underwater; “Hickory Dickory Dock” is a nursery rhyme adapted for bringing the baby’s body into the water; and the classic “cookie pan” simulates the motion of gathering cookies from a pan as a way of teaching a rudimentary version of the breast stroke. Best of all, these instructors are smart enough to know that the best way to motivate diaper-clad water bugs is to put a rubber duck in their sights and let them swim to it.

The San Antonio Swim Academy operates out of two locations: 2250 Thousand Oaks (404-2782) at Dive World Scuba, and 9240 Guilbeau (875-0213) at the Spectrum. They offer a wide range of times for their 30-minute spring and fall classes, and their accelerated summer schedule can make your child a certified baby swimmer in only four weeks.

Gilbert Garcia



CRITIC'S PICKS

Best Places to Unwittingly Kill Many More Hours Than You’d Intended
1. Blue Star Arts Complex
2. Half-Price Books
3. The San Antonio Zoo
4. The Alamo
5. Luby’s

Best Places to Take Out-of-Towners for that San antonio essence
1. Los Valles
2. La Tuna
3. Señor Sol karaoke bar

Best Places to Feel Like You’re Not in SA
1. Mariposa Restaurant at Neiman Marcus
2. V Bar at Hotel Valencia
3. The Aveda Institute Salon & Spa

Best Festivals
1. Tejano Conjunto Festival (May 10-13)
2. King William Fair (April 29)
3. San Antonio New World Wine & Food Festival (November 7-12)



Best of '06 PLACES – part 1




It grows on you

For transplants and natives alike, the city is full of slowly unfolding surprises



READER'S PICKS

Best Place to See the Fiesta Parade Without Tickets:
1. Television
2. Market Square
3. Broadway Street

Best Gym
1. Gold’s Gym
2. Spectrum Health Club
3. Bally’s Total Fitness

Best Video/DVD Store
1. Blockbuster
2. Hollywood
3. Best Buy

Best Yoga Studio
1. Bikram Yoga
2. Yoga In Motion
3. Gold’s Gym/Hot Body Yoga (tie)

Best Kid-Friendly Park
1. Brackenridge Park
2. Kiddie Park
3. Sea World

Best Hotel
1. La Mansión del Rio
2. Marriott Riverwalk
3. Hotel Valencia

Best Hair Salon
1. Great Clips
2. Sergio’s Hair Salon and Spa
3. Shag the Salon

Best Sex Store
1. Adult Video Megaplex
2. Apollo/Shades of Love (tie)

Best Gay Bar/Club
1. Bonham Exchange
2. The Saint
3. Heat

Best Lesbian Bar/Club
1. Electric Company
2. Petticoat Junction
3. Bermuda Triangle

Best Sports Bar
1. Fatso’s Sports Garden
2. Champps Americana
3. Stacy’s Sports Bar

Best Tattoo Shop
1. Dandyland
2. Platinum Piercing
3. Mr. Lucky’s Tattoos

Best Street to Hit a Pothole
1. San Pedro
2. Broadway
3. Culebra

Best Pickup Spot
1. ReBar
2. Stonewerks
3. H-E-B

Best Car Dealership (New or Used)
1. Car Max Auto Superstore
2. Ancira
3. Saturn

Best Mechanic
1. Steve Gehrlein at Cambridge Auto Center
2. Bandera Automotive

Most Missed Place of the Last 20 Years
1. Taco Land
2. Japanese Tea Gardens/Sunken Gardens
3. Playland Park





My first impression of San Antonio, years ago, was not a great one. I was in the middle of 7th grade in Ft. Myers, Florida, and I had just told schoolmates that my family and I would be relocating to the Alamo City. Following the requisite (and now that I’ve traveled as a Texan, lamentably familiar) chorus of uniquely Tex-ist jibes and admonitions — “You’re gonna ride a horse to school,” “You’re gonna bed your sister and relentlessly persecute gay people” — class was business as usual until best-friend Brady, swallowing a cackle, handed me a small, folded parcel: a portentous bit of mildly crinkled notebook paper. Opened, it revealed a crudely etched outline of the Lone Star State — a makeshift map, complete with compass and legend. Somewhere near the center, just north of the penciled panhandle, was a tiny box-and-triangle number labeled “Brian’s House,” to be my representative on this rough-and-ready Mead landscape.


Surrounding it were three distinct and menacing swarms of frenzied graphite marks, each enormous, all seemingly advancing upon my stand-in. The first group was identified via legend as “Gangs.” The second, “Killer bees.” (Remember the big Africanized-killer-bee scare back in the early ’90s? I do. I was in the 7th grade, being informed that it was one of the frontrunners in the candidacy to be the swift, Texas-size death of me, presumably running on the popular “sting a dude’s face until he asphyxiates” platform.) The third scourge, honestly, escapes me. Coyotes, maybe. Or scorpions. Something Texas-y.


At any rate, I was a bit unsure about the move. I knew next to nothing about the city. The only real point of interest, as I was (and am) a rather rabid basketball fan, was that it housed the NBA’s Spurs. But they were a bit dull and hadn’t ever won a championship — how great could that be?


Fast forward a good number of years, and my feelings about this city have certainly changed, mostly for the better. San Antonio, any way you slice it, is a family town. Warm, simple, and rich in tradition and culture on its better days, it does have the capacity to be somewhat dull on others. There are places and things to love: everything about the Blue Star Arts Complex; the giggly kid stuff at the Witte; Spurs games and the atmosphere that grips this place come playoffs (they did all right for themselves, turns out); spring rolls at Viet Nam; dirt-cheap, darn-good egg foo young at the Pearl Inn down the street; the newly sprung-up Freebirds and Ruta Maya; and lotsa laughs at the Rivercenter Comedy Club.


There are things to wish for: more independently owned, quirky selections like the Bijou; a nightlife that doesn’t prominently involve the River Walk and dodging hordes of tourists. I have a warm spot in my heart for San Antonio, and it’s not just because it hasn’t yet shot, stung, or whatever-ed me to death as promised so long ago. Sure, it’s spread-out. Sure, familiarity breeds contempt, or at least occasional boredom. But there are certain pockets and alcoves in this town that, once found, can remind you how much you love it here. Herewith, a few of those.

- Brian Villalobos




Best Reasonably Priced, Mystifyingly All-Purpose, Faceless Manufacturing Maven
Hill Country Fare (H-E-B)

I’ve neither seen nor been to the hub/principal factory/clandestine command center of H-E-B über-producer and convenience colossus Hill Country Fare. I’m not even sure there is one. Here’s what I imagine, though: a massive, isolated, roughly village-sized compound west of the city, spilling disparate and sundry structures for miles upon miles, with perhaps the odd spire or smokestack twisting heavenward — a sprawling, Seussian study in concrete, conveyor belts, and glittering aluminum, complete with bustling, Keebler-esque cadres of workers versed in good cheer and diligence. Sort of like Wonka’s set-up, maybe, but far more diversified, and with the occasional armadillo or tumbleweed.


BEST OF 2006

INTRODUCTION

PEOPLE & POLITICS

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ARTS Part 1

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MUSIC Part 1

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PLACES Part 1

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SACURRENT.COM

How else, really, to explain the staggering, well nigh-encyclopedic output proffered by HCF? From diapers to detergent, from glass cleaner to gummy worms, if there’s a product to which the name and ubiquitous blue wagon haven’t been affixed (spoiler: there are a few), you’ll exert a bit of effort in summoning it. Envelopes? Check. Beef jerky? Ditto. Toothbrushes? 13 varieties. And food well, they make a lot of food.

Of particular note are the scads of markedly cheaper clones of brand-name vittles, often quite comparable in taste (not to mention packaging) to the originals. For an inexpensive source of (admittedly mild) entertainment, head down to the cereal and snack aisles at your local H-E-B to peruse the clunky translations from progenitor to knock-off; they’re ticklingly akin to unwieldy foreign takes on American movie titles. `Corn` Pops, f’r’instance, become “Golden Corn Nuggets”; Triscuits are “Woven Wheats.”

At 40 fewer cents per box, though, I’ll buy Crap Flakes, if they taste the same as Wheaties. For value-priced, variegated vendibles, few top the wagon, and the list is ever expanding. Would you buy HCF beer? Motor oil? Condoms? Short of a hysterical Charlton Heston tearing down the River Walk with crying that Hill Country Fare is, indeed, made of people PEOPLE , there’s no end in sight. And I, for one, am not complaining. Yet.

Brian Villalobos




Best place to cure a hangover
Paloma Blanca

112 College St., 518-1063

I’m not kidding when I say that Paloma Blanca saved my life one Sunday afternoon. A wine hangover had blurred straight into a caffeine-deprivation headache. My skull felt, I thought, Anna Karenina-like. A guillotine would have been welcome. Somehow, through the train derailment in my head, I heard a muffled suggestion: the patio at Paloma Blanca.

There among the flowering vines and burbling fountains, I was revived by their Bloody Mary — a concoction as salty as any primordial sea. Lo, I slid into it barely able to amble, and emerged again a walking, talking, Darwinian masterpiece. The bartender does in fact get a little too enthusiastic with the celery salt at times, a fault you can address by switching to the Michelada Mexicana. The combination of icy glass, salt, and Tabasco will perk you up like a blood transfusion.

Fat, of course, is the appropriate complement to a hair of the dog, and Paloma Blanca’s Botanas Chicas appetizer plate contains a medically miraculous combination of protein, cheese, and fried things. The quesadillas and chicken flautas are especially fortifying, but watch those deep-fried jalapeños or you’ll need Rx of a different sort altogether.

Elaine Wolff



READER'S PICK

Best gay bar Bar/club
Bonham Exchange

On a Saturday night, the line into the Bonham Exchange, this year’s Best Gay Bar/Club, will wend nearly to the Alamo. Don’t let the wait deter you: This is where the city’s best dancers are hanging out, the paid ones in their boxer briefs, the rest letting Madonna and J.Lo whip them into a frothy frenzy on the dance floor.





Best place for infants to swim
San Antonio Swim Academy

Opinions differ on the best time for children to start swimming, but if you’re eager to acclimate your baby to the water, you can’t go wrong with the San Antonio Swim Academy. In small classes with plenty of individual instruction, they manage to make the frequently intimidating swimming experience a series of lighthearted games: “B is for Bubbles” is a song parents use to demonstrate the concept of breathing underwater; “Hickory Dickory Dock” is a nursery rhyme adapted for bringing the baby’s body into the water; and the classic “cookie pan” simulates the motion of gathering cookies from a pan as a way of teaching a rudimentary version of the breast stroke. Best of all, these instructors are smart enough to know that the best way to motivate diaper-clad water bugs is to put a rubber duck in their sights and let them swim to it.

The San Antonio Swim Academy operates out of two locations: 2250 Thousand Oaks (404-2782) at Dive World Scuba, and 9240 Guilbeau (875-0213) at the Spectrum. They offer a wide range of times for their 30-minute spring and fall classes, and their accelerated summer schedule can make your child a certified baby swimmer in only four weeks.

Gilbert Garcia



CRITIC'S PICKS

Best Places to Unwittingly Kill Many More Hours Than You’d Intended
1. Blue Star Arts Complex
2. Half-Price Books
3. The San Antonio Zoo
4. The Alamo
5. Luby’s

Best Places to Take Out-of-Towners for that San antonio essence
1. Los Valles
2. La Tuna
3. Señor Sol karaoke bar

Best Places to Feel Like You’re Not in SA
1. Mariposa Restaurant at Neiman Marcus
2. V Bar at Hotel Valencia
3. The Aveda Institute Salon & Spa

Best Festivals
1. Tejano Conjunto Festival (May 10-13)
2. King William Fair (April 29)
3. San Antonio New World Wine & Food Festival (November 7-12)