Editor's Note: Bad Takes is a column of opinion and analysis.
Poker legend Doyle Brunson once wrote of his days as a road gambler back in the '50s and '60s, "We must have hit every town in Texas, relieving the locals of their money."
San Antonio made the circuit, in particular an invite-only underground game just off West Avenue. But to old-school rounders of the era, the hard part wasn't winning the money; the hard part was getting out of town with it.
"I've been hijacked a few times," Brunson —aka "Texas Dolly" — confessed in the introduction to his book Super/System, "and I can tell you it's not a pleasant experience to be looking down at the business end of a shotgun."
Sometimes it can feel like not much has changed. Two weeks ago, a man in his 30s was shot and killed outside an underground gambling establishment off Old Pearsall Road, TV station KENS 5 reported. We may never know whether the precipitating argument would have ended without violence had it started in a legit casino with adequate security. However, we should at least be able to say that legalizing gambling — regulating it, protecting the players and staff, and yes, taxing the bejesus out of it to fund essential public services — would surely be safer and more lucrative for our state overall.
An altogether different tragedy occurred the same day of the shooting — this one at San Antonio City Hall. There, more than $140 million in requests for after-school mentorships, homeless assistance, domestic violence prevention and other much-needed programs went chasing after a mere $45 million remaining in the city's share of the federal American Rescue Plan funding.
Though the state government enjoys a record budget surplus expected to hit $32.7 billion this year, at the municipal level, we're still forced to skimp on community investments we ought to prioritize.
This state — which lent its name to the most popular poker variant, Texas Hold 'Em — is leaving an awful lot of moola on the table by prohibiting gambling.
How much exactly?
An admittedly lowball back-of-the-envelope figure, legalizing sports betting alone, which 36 states have already done, would haul in over $100 million in taxes, according to a D Magazine estimate.
And Texans spend more than $5 billion annually at casinos in bordering states and Las Vegas, according to Clyde Barrow, a political scientist at the University of Texas Rio Grande Valley.
Why travel to a desert to gamble when you could just as easily lose that money at home?
Although above-board "private" card rooms have recently popped up all over San Antonio, Austin, Dallas and Houston, such clubs exist in a legal gray area, according to experts. Which means they could be shut down unexpectedly by a meddlesome prosecutor at the drop of a hat. One such case involving a card room in Dallas is likely headed to the Texas Supreme Court.
That's not to say all gambling is illegal in Texas. In 1982, the state permitted the boringest game ever invented, Bingo, to go on tantalizing senior citizens. Not to mention, state-sponsored gambling confronts compulsive risk-takers at every convenience store in the form of long-odds lotteries.
The contradictions don't end there. A January poll conducted by the University of Houston found that 75% of Texans support legislation to let voters decide whether to legalize casinos, including 72% of self-identified Republicans.
Yet the Texas GOP adopted the following plank to its platform last June: "We oppose any expansion of gambling, including legalized casino gambling. We oppose and call for a veto of any budget that relies on expansion of legalized gambling as a method of finance."
In other words: Texas shall make no tricky attempts to fund education, healthcare and environmental protection with the proceeds. That's the party of liberty for you. How many times must we relearn the lesson of Prohibition, that we can't legislate virtue but we can further worthwhile causes with certain vices?
"The only thing that makes the New York Stock Exchange different from the average casino is that the players dress in blue pinstripe suits and carry leather briefcases," Donald Trump wrote in The Art of the Deal.
However, one can appreciate casinos without believing that our entire economy should be anchored to a gigantic one. Despite capitalism's flattering self-image, stable and peaceful markets are not naturally occurring phenomena. They must be built, structured and domesticated.
Without referees, there is no sport, only war. And unlike most big companies today, with newly licensed fields of business, the public can exercise unprecedented input in how they're run, keeping on guard against predatory marketing and unsavory repercussions. Labor organizations in Nevada such as the Culinary Union have also proven to be a formidable ally for workers in all casino-related occupations as well as on Election Day.
But what's really at stake in allowing consenting adults to throw dice and squeeze cards together in an air-conditioned room free from street violence is fostering real-life fellowship in a world that's increasingly atomized.
Poker especially is as woven into the fabric of Texan culture as whisky and tackle football. If we petition the legislature, perhaps Republicans' obstruction of legalized gambling will suffer a timely run of bad luck.
Because until I can smoke Willie Nelson's weed in a San Antonio casino "Texas Dolly" cut the ribbon on, this socialist will keep grinding.
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